In March 2026, ABC Pulled Taylor Frankie Paul's Bachelorette Season and The Debate That Followed Was About Reactive Abuse

The Moment

On March 19, 2026, ABC pulled the upcoming season of The Bachelorette just days before its scheduled premiere. The decision came hours after TMZ published video from a 2023 incident showing cast lead Taylor Frankie Paul throwing metal barstools at her ex-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen while her then 5-year-old daughter was present in the room. According to NBC News, Paul was arrested following that incident and later pled guilty to aggravated assault. Four additional charges, including domestic violence in the presence of a child and child abuse, were dismissed as part of the plea. The child was struck during the altercation. That fact is documented in the police report.

In a statement released through her spokesperson, Paul said she has been silently suffering extensive mental and physical abuse as well as threats of retaliation for years and is finally gaining the strength to face her accuser. Both Paul and Mortensen have made allegations against each other. There are now three separate active domestic violence investigations involving the two. Both have been ordered to undergo psychological evaluations.

The Conversation

Scroll through any comment section covering this story and two distinct themes emerge. The first is frustration that female-perpetrated domestic violence is not taken as seriously as male-perpetrated violence. The second is the claim, repeated across thousands of comments, that what the video shows is reactive abuse, not straightforward abuse at all.

What Is Reactive Abuse?

Reactive abuse is a term used to describe a specific dynamic in abusive relationships where one partner, typically the one engaging in covert, psychological, or emotional abuse, deliberately provokes the other partner until that partner reacts with visible anger, aggression, or even physical violence. The provocateur then uses that reaction as evidence that the reactive partner is unstable, dangerous, or the real abuser.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline recognizes this as a documented pattern most commonly associated with narcissistic abuse dynamics. The cycle typically looks like this: ongoing emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or provocation that is invisible to outsiders, followed by a breaking-point reaction from the victim that is visible, followed by the abuser reframing the reaction as the problem while positioning themselves as the victim.

Reactive abuse does not mean the reaction was acceptable. It does not absolve anyone of responsibility for physical violence, particularly when a child is present. What it means is that context matters enormously when assessing what is actually happening inside a relationship. A reaction does not erase the provocation. A provocation does not erase the reaction. In genuinely complex relationship dynamics, both people can be causing harm simultaneously in very different ways.

Does any of this apply to Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortensen specifically? There is no way to know. The video begins mid-incident. There is no access to the full history of their relationship or the details of the ongoing investigations. What is not in question is that a child was struck. That cannot be contextualized away regardless of what else was happening.

Female Perpetrated Domestic Violence: What The Data Actually Says

According to the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, approximately 1 in 9 men in the United States has experienced severe intimate partner physical violence. Research published in the journal Partner Abuse consistently finds that domestic violence perpetrated by women against men is significantly underreported. Male victims face unique barriers to coming forward, including shame, fear of not being believed, concern about losing custody of children, and a cultural narrative that frames male victimization as either impossible or emasculating.

This does not mean women perpetrate domestic violence at the same rate as men. The data does not support that conclusion. What it does mean is that when it happens it is often invisible, underreported, and undertreated.

The Broader Picture

The Taylor Frankie Paul story does not fit neatly into the narratives built around domestic violence. She is a mother with a public platform who has also been recorded doing something that resulted in a criminal plea and a child being injured. Her ex is simultaneously the person filming that incident and the person she says has been abusing her for years. This is not about assigning blame. It is about understanding the dynamics at play. Reactive abuse is real. Female perpetrated domestic violence is real. Complex relationships where both people are causing harm simultaneously are real. And children caught in the middle of adult dysfunction, regardless of who started it or why, are always the ones who pay the highest price.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org

Counsel Club covers cultural moments through a wellness lens. Nothing published on this site constitutes a diagnosis of any individual, a legal opinion on any ongoing matter, or professional psychological advice. For support, please contact a licensed mental health professional or the resources listed above.

Sources: NBC News, Variety, National Domestic Violence Hotline, CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, Partner Abuse journal